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Thanks for your reply ; unfortunately my situation has gone from bad, to worse.  I am now out on my own, basically homeless, too many death threats.  As for assistance, I have been everywhere and nothing and no one...Been abandoned by my husband, my army, and my governemnt.  Been to the VA, the goveners office, state reps, welfare, but nothing; i dont get anything.  I moved 1100 miles aways so he cant find me, things go that bad....lost in the shuffle you might say....

Went to see a VA rep here in FL, you wouldnt believe what they "she" told me.  She said, "we dont have any benefits for you here, all you can do is wait for him to commit suicide, then you qualify for everything".  My jaw about hit the floor, I couldnt believe this woman was telling me this.  I could understand the, no benefits, but I spent 7 years trying to keep him from killing anyone and she had the nerve to tell me this.  I cant have counseling, have no medical insurance cause he got fired from his job, so have no meds....Am quite lost at this point...Sleeping on couches and such, living out of a suitcase, moving each time i hear he knows where i am....He wont file for divorce or separation, threw all my things out of the house, drained the bank accounts, stopped paying my car payment, and on and on and on....

It's just been a total mess.  I dont know what to do....

Thanks for your reply Erin; unfortunately my situation has gone from bad, to worse.  I am now out on my own, basically homeless, too many death threats.  As for assistance, I have been everywhere and nothing and no one...Been abandoned by my husband, my army, and my governemnt.  Been to the VA, the goveners office, state reps, welfare, but nothing; i dont get anything.  I moved 1100 miles aways so he cant find me, things go that bad....lost in the shuffle you might say....

Went to see a VA rep here in FL, you wouldnt believe what they "she" told me.  She said, "we dont have any benefits for you here, all you can do is wait for him to commit suicide, then you qualify for everything".  My jaw about hit the floor, I couldnt believe this woman was telling me this.  I could understand the, no benefits, but I spent 7 years trying to keep him from killing anyone and she had the nerve to tell me this.  I cant have counseling, have no medical insurance cause he got fired from his job, so have no meds....Am quite lost at this point...Sleeping on couches and such, living out of a suitcase, moving each time i hear he knows where i am....He wont file for divorce or separation, threw all my things out of the house, drained the bank accounts, stopped paying my car payment, and on and on and on....

It's just been a total mess.  I dont know what to do....

Posted in butterfly22 on Jun 15, 2009... modified on Jun 23, 2009

I am the spouse of a veteran with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and mother of a 16 year old son.  Since my husband has been home from Afghanistan six years ago he has become violent, angry, and distant from our family.  Two weeks ago he threatened to kill me and I called the police (only because the VA counselor told me to do so) and received a temporary restraining order.  If I would have known that this would not get him/us more help I wouldn't have done it.  Now he is out of the home, took all the finances, and I am left with the house, bills, car payment, no food, no gas, no nothing.  I had to, temporarily, send my son to go live with his father out of state.  I didn't want him to see everything and be here when the house gets emptied; not to mention I don't have the finances to take care of him right now.  The gas got shut off last week and I had to use everything I had left in the bank to get it turned back on.

I have been in counseling since February for depression, anxiety, and possibly secondary PTSD myself.  His anger has nearly caused me to have a nervous breakdown.   I have Rhumetoid Arthritis and Fibromyalga so I have only been working part time for the past few years (12 hours a week at the store he manages).  I also have to have surgery on the nerves in both my feet.  How am I suppose to look for a full time job when I am suppose to have this surgery, end up riddled in pain after a short few hours of work, and have no gas for the car?

I have tried to get help from the Veteran's Association but have been told that spouses don't get help, there aren't any programs.  If he were still in the military I would but he got out last year; he couldn't handle it anymore.

My husband is mentally ill and no matter how much I try to talk to him about the help he and I need, and the counseling we should be in together, he doesn't want to hear it.  He just left me stranded and I have no clue of what to do.  I love my husband and want to help him/us but right now I am having a difficult time helping myself.  I worry they will take the car, forclose on the house; and when he gets better what home will my soldier have to come home to?

Is there anyone out there who can help me, whether it be adivce or financial?

I am the spouse of a veteran with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Since he has been home from Afghanistan six years ago he has become violent, angry, and distant from our family.  Two weeks ago he threatened to kill me and I called the police (only because the VA counselor told me to do so).  If I would have known that this would not get him/us more help I wouldn't have done it.  Now he is out of the home, took all the finances, and I am left with the house, bills, car payment, no food, no gas, no nothing.

I have been in counseling since February for depression, anxiety, and possibly secondary PTSD myself.  His anger has nearly caused me to have a nervous breakdown.   I have Rhumetoid Arthritis so I have only been working part time for the past few years (12 hours a week at the store he manages).  I also have to have surgery on the nerves in both my feet.  How am I suppose to look for a full time job when I am suppose to have this surgery, and have no gas for the car?

I have tried to get help from the VA but have been told that spouses dont get help.  If he were still in the military I would but he got out last year; he couldn't handle it anymore.

My husband is mentally ill and no matter how much I try to talk to him about the help he and I need, and the counseling we should be in together, he doesn't want to hear it.  He just left me stranded and I have no clue of what to do.  I love my husband and want to help him/us but right now I am having a difficult time helping myself.  I worry they will take the car, forclose on the house; and when he gets better what home will my soldier have to come home to.

Is there anyone out there who can help me, whether it be adivce or financial. 

I don't think it's right to leave the spouse out of the help and assistance from the military or government, but there is nothing I can do about that.  So many women/spouses are in my position when it comes to dealing with the aftermath of war, not to mention the support we gave while they were gone.

If anyone can help, I would really appreciate it.  My contact is carina30@aol